Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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