I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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