I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize