I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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