oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
