I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i need to put some appletini on your dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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