he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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