So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
