Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize