dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
