Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
