I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
