I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
