So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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