Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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