maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
