I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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