You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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