do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
