their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
