dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
