I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
