I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
