You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
