let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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