She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
