You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
