Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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