So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
