so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
