Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
