Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
