we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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