So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
