The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize