Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
