For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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