Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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