We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
