I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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