Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
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