Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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