How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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