you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
