i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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