Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
