Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
