just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
