he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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