We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel like abortions should bother me more
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize