yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
