I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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